From Pimp to Pastor is a true story validating one woman's journey from the streets of Seattle to pastor of a ministry that supports the homeless. Published in TheBlaze.
At age six, Carrie wasn’t allowed to call her mother “mom”. Unless they were in public. Carrie was repeatedly told that she had no value, that she was worthless. Her mother openly stated that she didn’t want to love Carrie. “From that moment on, in my head I ‘knew’ or thought that I had no value,” shares Carrie.
At age fifteen, Carrie’s mother forced
her to sign an emancipation agreement.
She then gave Carrie $300, and put her on a bus to Seattle. She knew no one. And no one came looking for her. She felt hopelessly lost and totally
forgotten.
Finding a box behind a downtown
appliance store, Carrie called it home.
Meals were twice daily discards taken from a nearby convenience store
dumpster. She accepted a pimp’s offer to
run money back to him from his teenage prostitutes in exchange for 30 percent
of the cut. The girls were 15, Carrie’s
age. The mere thought of their plight made
Carrie physically sick to her stomach.
She had to disconnect emotionally just to survive.
Their young age made it easy for the
pimp to trick the prostitutes into becoming fully dependent on him for their
food, clothing, their life. “Typical
kids rely upon a parent to care for them.
To the girls, the pimp had become their parent,” shares Carrie.
When the pimp was arrested, the girls
found themselves without a parent.
Carrie stepped in. She was
terrified of her newfound responsibility, but the role allowed her to move into
the hotel. She now had a warm bed, a
free shower, and reliable food. This
excited her. In her thinking, it was
going to be okay. It also gave Carrie a
deep sense of responsibility for the teenage prostitutes, wanting to make sure
they would always be cared for.
But then one morning, Carrie woke up
with a strong desire to return to school.
She contacted a police officer in downtown Seattle, and told the officer
where the girls were. She never saw them
again.
Carrie went back to high school on her
own accord, but the lack of support quickly led to a teenage pregnancy. At age 17, she gave birth to twins. One passed away, the other struggled to
survive. Carrie immediately became
pregnant again.
By age 21, Carrie was grieving the loss
of one baby, had two living children, and had just gained custody of a 12
year-old drug addict in need of love. She had also started a pattern of
abusive relationships. The first abuser was
a contracted hacker for a major software conglomerate. But each time Carrie fled, she was forced to
apply for state aid for her children.
The abuser would ping her social security number and find them. No matter where she went, he found them. Always.
She lived in fear.
Her
next abuser tortured her. Carrie’s
escape came one morning after he had kicked a bucket of industrial cleaner on
her. With skin burning, she ran outside
in nothing but her underwear and t-shirt.
He came out after her to finish the verbal portion of his assault, but the
very moment he returned inside their home, Carrie made her escape, bolting to a
nearby home. The homeowner called 911.
Another
abusive relationship followed. Carrie’s turning
point came after she was caught attempting to flee by swimming across the
border into Canadian waters, pulling her kids in a boat. She was returned stateside, and hooked up
with a ministry that kept them safe.
They were offered a free hotel room for two years along with medical
care. The ministry also offered Carrie a
job as administrative assistant. With no
skills or training, she didn’t know what she was doing, but she did know the
people she was doing it for, and that’s when the desire to give back began to
take hold. “I feel like I have to give
back to where I came from in order to heal,” shares Carrie, as the tears trickle
down her soft cheeks.
Her
pivotal moment came at age 32. By then a
mother of eight, Carrie was attending church with her children thinking that
the ex-con speaking to the congregation was a joke. Until he spoke the words that stole Carrie’s
breath, and have since become etched in her heart. “He said that salvation
was free, and even if I was the only person in the entire world, it would still
be offered to me. I’m 32 years old by
this time with eight children, single, lost, alone, don’t know what I’m doing,
and I’m thinking that if its free, I don’t have to work for that. So just me, in my own skin, exactly like I
am, right this very second. That I had
value to this god that would allow his son to die for my salvation. That was like a pivotal breathing
moment. I don’t think I had ever taken a
breath before. Right then, I totally
recognized that the skin I’m in is just enough.”
Recently
celebrating her birthday, Carrie is now a 43 year-old pastor. Her ministry operates a nonprofit thrift store
that supports six different projects benefitting the homeless. Her mission is simple: she wants people to know that they have
value. “That they deserve every breath
that they are given. That
they deserve to be safe and comfortable, and happy and loved and
remembered. That they are not
forgotten.”
Looking back at her time on the street,
she shares, “I wanted to feel remembered, but I didn’t.” She now remembers the forgotten, loves
the unloved, and values the people who feel like they have no value. “I just want other people who felt like they
were forgotten to be remembered.”
Making the transformation from street
kid to pimp to minister, Carrie feels that if she can do it, anybody can. And she has made it her life goal to help
them.
